I have always had many friends of both sexes, many of them being male. I was never really called a girlfriend; I was more a friend with perks. I grew tired of this. I knew I could have so much more, but I did not know how to go about it since what I wanted went against all I had been taught. I became frustrated and did not date--for almost 4 years I think it was. One day while talking to a friend on the net he gave me a web site address to check out. The site was OK Cupid. At this site there were many personality questions to answer and tests to take. At first I went there to see if I could find more people to be friends with. I soon found there were many people out there that I might want more with. At first I was really leery of this new way of meeting people.
The first guy I met in person and I had a relationship with was for about two months. I soon realized he was one of those guys that I had to deal with when all throughout my school-age years. He would not even hold my had when he took me to a garden around Christmas time to look at lights. I was not a girlfriend. I was a friend with perks, nothing more. He could toss me aside at any time and not feel bad at all.
The turning point for me came on the first of the year. I had made a New Year's resolution of sorts that I would from now on look for people who would like or love all of me, not just what I could give them. On New Year's day the guy I had been with told me he was taking another girl to the Space Needle for the fireworks show. I was not too happy. Yet, the last time I had been with him I had felt he had drifted away from me. Like there was a wall that had not been there before and I was on the outside looking in.
So, I contacted another person on Ok Cupid that had caught my eye way before A had. His smile always brought me back to his profile. I kept feeling like I wanted to get to know this person. In reading his profile he was very open about being poly. At the time I had not really thought about such a concept as polyamory to be an acceptable thing. I used to think anything like that was cheating, and therefore wrong. So, I set out to read all I could about polyamory before contacting him. When I did, he also sent me many web site addresses to look at. He wanted me to go in to any relationship with him with my eyes wide open.
On New Year's day we set up to meet each other for the first time. I have to say he is the first guy I have dated--other than one time in high school--that treated me like I was his girlfriend and not just a friend in front of other people. I was introduced to the cloven fruit on our first date. I have to admit I was a little miffed when I did not get the first kiss of the date. I was being a chicken. So really, I have to say thank you to A for bringing that fruit over. I do not know if I would have ever got up the courage to get the first kiss otherwise. I am glad that I did. At that party I felt I had finally found the people I had been searching for all my life. That was the beginning of my Poly life. It is now been 5, almost 6 months since I have started dating G who is poly. I have been calling myself poly for three months at least. I have so many friends and potential lovers now I sometimes do not know who or what I will be doing day to day to weekend to weekend. I love it. So, being new to poly, please excuse any thing that might seem unpolyish to you. I am still learning what is it to be and live as a poly person. Below are some other things about me.
My spelling is bad. I like Root beer, Jelly Bellies and pop rock candy. I like to eat spinach and dill pickles. I still put the black olives on my fingers before I eat them. I like to take pictures of clouds and nature more then people. I drink one cup of really strong coffee in the morning and if I do not get it I am cranky for a little bit. I like to sleep in but if I have to get up, I will. I have 4 cats, 2 dogs (well Oscar is my uncle's, Charlie is mine. Oscar would eat me if I get too close). I have three goldfish, two fresh underwater frogs, and 23 land hermit crabs. I live with 8 other people, all family members. They are really protective of me. They do not know I am poly.
Cross posted to Poly Groups I am in and my LJ.